The bow tie wearing little rapscallion we all know and love is at it again! No, he hasn’t said anything disparaging this time! Yet! WVU President, Gordon Gee, has announced that he will be starring in a new television show, filmed and broadcasted from the University of Austin.
This comes shortly after Gee announced his advisory role at the entirely real and not just recently made up university. Gee will be playing wacky, bow tie-wearing, sexual assault-overlooking character, Gee Wee, in Gee Wee’s Reactionary Playhouse. “What we aim to do on the show is to start talking about the things that make us uncomfortable,” said Gee.
When we took him up on that statement and asked him about the many sexual assault claims he disregarded throughout his long career, he started shouting “YOU SAID THE SECRET WORD!!!” over and over again.
“The show will cover the hard topics no other University or show wants to talk about. It’s time to fix the problems that have plagued higher education for decades,” said Gee, who has been a literal leader in higher education since the fucking 70’s.
Gee said the show will cover topics like race-relations, sexuality, gender, eugenics, phrenology, the four humors, the benefits of snake oil, and Luminiferous Aether (Google it, dummy).
There will be a whole cast of fun characters joining Gee on the show.
Steven Pinker plays a boy genius whose experiments run wild! “In one episode he accidentally releases the gay gene into the HVAC system,” Gee chuckled.
Kelsey Grammar is set to play the part of Jeffrey Epstein’s ghost, who lives in Gee Wee’s humidor.
Toward the end of our interview, Gee leaned in real close and whispered to us, “Think of all this wokeness we see around us as a light frosting of snow. No big deal right? Now, think of the University of Austin as the eggs and milk. What do dumb people buy first when they see some little snowflakes floating around their hometown? BAM! They buy up all the eggs and milk. Knee jerk reactions are where the money’s at, baby!”
He then guffawed, hopped on a scooter, then rammed through the tenth floor window, using his stupid little bow-tie as a propellor to fly away.
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