HUNTINGTON — We heard Barstool Marshall was dunking on small community colleges online, so we sent Ramp reporters out to get an exclusive interview with the anonymous poster.
Barstool Marshall gained notoriety after they found out that Marshall had a soccer team and that it had just won a national championship. We had to find the expert troll.
We scoured Frat Row because who else could it be? But not a single bro would fess up to the rude tweets. We interviewed students on campus for intel, but they were also incredibly tight-lipped.
Bar. Stool. That’s it! We went to every bar in town searching for a stool sample, but still no luck. We even checked Jake’s. But just as we were giving up, we found the barstool in question. It was sitting in the back of that weird room at El Ranchito. We dragged its ass down to the Joan C. Edwards and started asking questions.
When asked how the online community seemed to be responding to the owns they’ve been dishing out, Barstool said, “….” Um, okay? Kinda rude. We asked if running a college Barstool account was fun — we were met with dead silence. Seemed like we had a bigger asshole on our hands than we had anticipated. Question after question, the barstool gave us the silent treatment and just pretty much just sat there.
After three and a half hours of interrogating, emotions were running high, and one of our reporters took a swing at the barstool. He is currently getting a cast put on at Cabell-Huntington Hospital.
The Ramp is planning on suing someone — anyone, really — we just need money and we’re short-staffed right now due to the hand injury. If you can recommend a lawyer, please email us at therampnews@gmail.com
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