ANSTED — Ramp reporters traveled to Fayette County to see what all the hubbub was surrounding the mysterious Mystery Hole. Little did we know that what had originally been planned as a regular, old, boring-ass news article about some piece of shit hole in the ground, unexpectedly turned into what may become a Pulitzer Prize winning investigative piece that will be considered some of the best journalism this state has ever seen.
Our journey began when we stopped at some gas station to ask for directions, and needless to say, we weren’t really paying attention. After some lefts and some rights, traversing up some hills and down some hollers, we finally found ourselves at the Mystery Hole.
It wasn’t what we expected, it just looked like a nice neighborhood. So we decided to do what any great investigative journalists would do — stakeout with binoculars and some snacks for the night. We fell asleep almost immediately.
At the crack of dawn, we decided to see what this Mystery Hole was all about. We waltzed on up through the superbly maintained lawn, and began banging on the door for several minutes.
To our astonishment, your mom answered the door wearing a very modest pajama set. “Mystery Hole? Yeah, I’m very familiar. You boys come on in and I’ll put some coffee on.”
Your mom told us fascinating stories about her childhood, and growing up in the small coal mining town of Thurmond. We laughed and laughed because not only is your mom extremely hospitable, but she’s also charming and hilarious.
As our wonderful day neared its end, we walked down the cobblestone walkway, turned back to your mom and called out, “Hey, we forgot to ask you about the Mystery Hole!” And your mom smiled and asked, “Would you boys like to stay for dinner?”
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