HUNTINGTON — Braxdyn Hughes was arrested today after mowing down a few fellow third graders in the most precious little replica Speedway van.
Megan Boyd, a chaperone, recounted the events that lead the crazed elementary school sociopath to go on a killing spree, “You could see it in his eyes. When he got the taste for speed… he just… disappeared. Thud, thud… Thud! The screams — my god — the screams. It was like a splash park except with blood.”
Police responded quickly, but weren’t allowed to bring their full-sized vehicles onto the premises. Officers were forced into a low-speed pursuit in the tiny police cars provided by Safety Town.
The suspect was apprehended after police performed a PIT maneuver, sending Hughes crashing into the replica Dollar General. Police cuffed the little guy and read him his miniature Miranda rights. Hughes is in the teeny jail awaiting the judge in the mini courthouse to set bail.
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