We all know the holidays can be stressful, especially when you’re cookin’ a meal for everyone and their momma! Well, The Ramp is going to let you in on a sacred secret tip that will spruce up all of your favorite holiday dishes. Psst… We got it from Maw-Maw. Her secret ingredient is sure to impress all of your Thanksgiving guests. So here’s our Top Ten list of recipes that are improved by our Appalachian Grandma’s super secret ingredient… Salt!
Mashed Potatoes:
A staple. Everyone loves potatoes in so many different forms, but what is the best form? It’s mashed, you idiot! Grandma won’t tell you this, but she likes to add a little… SALT. and then a little bit more! MORE! The saltiness really brings out the potato in this one!
Green Beans:
They’re green and delicious, and you’ll never guess what Mee-Maw’s secret ingredient is… Shhh… it’s salt. You won’t even realize how much of it’s in there until you feel dehydrated later in the day. Nothing like a salty bean on Thanksgiving!
Stuffing:
My god, the stuffing. A fan favorite that just needs a touch of something… Hmm… I just can’t put my finger on it. Oh hey, Grandma! Oh damn! That’s quite a substantial amount of salt! That’s exactly what was missing.
Turkey:
What in the hell is Thanksgiving without some Turkey? It’s nothing. It’s pointless and it’s stupid. How else are we going to forget about the bloodshed and genocide that was committed in order to colonize this great land in order to eventually hate one another for worshipping different gods or having a different skin color? Add some salt, baby!
Candied Yams:
A classic dessert. Straight from the can. Just add a ¼ cup butter (cut into pieces), ½ cup brown sugar, 1 ½ cups of miniature marshmallows, and what the FUCK are you DOING, GiGi?!? That’s like 3 cups of salt!!
Corn Pudding:
A staple at Thanksgiving, and Nana makes it best! Everything looks normal — milk, eggs, butter, creamed corn, sugar… Hey, Nana, that’s sugar, right? … Right?
Mountain Dew:
Well, she can’t fuck this up... Oh my god.
Pumpkin Pie:
“NOW, it is time… for my SECRET INGREDIENT.” Chinese food would be pretty good, honestly.
Cranberry Sauce:
It’s mostly salt. I…
Pecan Pie:
I was actually in charge of the pecan pie this year, so I picked one up from Kroger, but it might just be the only dish that Gam Gam can’t ruin with her secret ingredient. It doesn’t look like the packaging has been tampered with. I’m going to just sit here with it on my lap. “Gam Gam, what have you been up to lately?” She looks directly into my eyes and says, “Well, I’ve been getting a little bored since I retired. So I picked up a part time job… At Kroger… In the bakery.”
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