WASHINGTON, D.C. — Author of the new cookbook, Appalachian Fares for the Poorest of Poor, was arrested at a Pho restaurant in our nation’s Capital over the weekend where she was screaming at Vietnamese small business owners through a megaphone. Patrons and workers of Pho Viet Restaurant were basically all, “wtf?”
Paula Jean went around slapping bowls of pho onto the ground, one after another, saying through a bullhorn, “You’re not poor... You’re not poor. Not poor. Not poor, sorry.”
Ramp reporters spoke with Paula Jean about her protest of the reasonably priced pho, especially for the D.C. area, and she said, “It’s not about being reasonably priced — the price point is quite good, actually — surprising for the area, really. These people are privileged and they don’t know it. Try sustaining yourself on a diet composed only of beans, ramen, and dirt. I’m talking real cheap shit.”
Paula Jean then began arguing with normies on Twitter about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Cori Bush being the biggest problem in politics today, but failing to mention Joe Manchin being an alien-lizard in a costume of flesh.
The capital police threw Paula Jean in the slammer for about 2.5 hours, and then released her under the condition that she’d stop being insufferable on social media.
She immediately began the Twitter storm upon release and police are currently looking for the People’s Party member. Police are having trouble finding her all the way up there on that high horse.
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