CHARLESTON — Patrick Morrisey was sworn in today using the Trump Bible. The book is also known as Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The U.S.A.” Bible, based on the banger track by the same name.
With tears in his eyes, Morrisey told Ramp reporters, “I wouldn’t be where I am today without having that video snippet of President Trump saying my name and using it in my advertising.” Morrisey beat the living shit out of former Huntington mayor, Steve Williams, who never had a chance.
Morrisey’s advisors reported that the governor had to be talked down from swearing in on Donald Trump’s 1987 book, “The Art of The Deal”.
West Virginia’s 37th governor said he would follow in President Trump’s footsteps by “focusing on a bunch of culture war shit and stripping away rights from political enemies.” He added he has “a ton of bathroom ideas.”
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