BECKLEY — “I’m so bored.” Christopher Hubbard told Ramp reporters. “Like, I usually would be snowboarding up at Winterplace right now, but it’s fuckin’ July or whatever.”
It was unfortunate that Hubbard was having such a shitty time in such a boring place. Allegedly, his friends were on the Gauley River today, which has five of the lamest Class V rapids in the United States and World.
“I’ve just been playing GTA Online. I got a couple homies who log on sometimes. We’ll do heists and shit.” He was showing us the outfits he had purchased while we feigned interest.
We noticed some climbing shoes and rope. When asked about rock climbing, Hubbard said, “Yeah, it can definitely be a thrill and, like, an experience of a lifetime, but that’s like fifteen minutes away from here.” This did not sound very far away.
“Dude, it’s so fucked up how bored I am right now, bros.” He said, grabbing a drink from the refrigerator in the garage. We noticed paddle boards, kayaks, disc golf discs, fishing rods, and a plethora of other outdoor and backpacking supplies.
“Uggggggggggh, there’s literally nothing to do. I’m so stressed out and anxious.” We suggested some Vitamin D provided by the big star that our earth revolves around accompanied by a leisurely stroll or a dip in the lake or a little hike. “Ugh, I guess so… Who all’s gonna be there?”
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