Another massive win for West Virginia conservation; a large Morgantown pothole has been added to the list of National Parks in the U.S.. Yep, the one on High Street.
“Ya see, we can’t cover up a National park…I didn’t write the constitution but it’s in there somewhere I’m sure.” Said Department of Highways representative Neal Gunman.
The DOH has pushed for the enormous High Street pothole to be named a National park ever since a 99 Subaru Outback from Washington State carrying 8 kayaks, became trapped inside it two weeks ago.
“It’s got about everything you need! The drainage isn’t too good on this road so when it rains you could get some good Class V rapids!” Said Narles Sharkey, the owner of the Subaru. Sharkey admits he didn’t have the funds for a tow truck.
“This is sweet! I was thinking of opening up a brick oven pizza/brewery here inside the pothole,” said Sharkey, wiggling his gross toes in those shoes that have toes but like, they’re still covered up. What an asshole.
DOH Rep. Gunman admits his department lacks the proper funds to fix the pothole and remove the Subaru.
“This kinda works out for us! So instead of us getting the money we need we can allocate it to the…new park employees and… and the maintenance fees and.. l and the Uhh… Uhm… ohhh shit, maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”
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