CHARLESTON – Local fucking idiot embarrassingly ordered a hot dog with chili on Saturday evening at Super Weenie in Charleston. Michaela Spencer, 17, reportedly went up to the counter and deadass ordered “Two hot dogs with chili”. Like, “CaN I GeT a HoT DoG wItH BeAnS?”
The know-nothing numbskull was appropriately berated by strangers and a group of her classmates. "Yo, what the hell is hot dog chili!?" One classmate, David Long yelled, causing the restaurant’s customers to erupt in laughter. “Are you gonna put ketchup on it too?” He added.
Spencer, who will be able to vote in a few short months, told Ramp reporters, “I don’t really see what the big deal is.” lmao, okay, “How am I supposed to know you guys call it something different here in Appalachia?” She obliviously asked while mispronouncing “Appalachia''. “My family just moved here from Michigan three years ago.” She added to her list of inexcusable excuses.
George Washington High School principal, Jim Crawford, released a statement saying, “The behavior exhibited by the student is abhorrent and objectionable, but there are currently no school or county policies in place that would authorize suspension or expulsion. We are very seriously investigating the incident, and we are hoping to find a loophole or some shit that would allow us to send her ass back to the Midwest where they eat hot dogs with tomatoes and pickles on them like sociopaths.”
The Ramp will continue to monitor this ongoing situation by cyberbullying the student and maybe funding a billboard to make others aware that the enemy walks among us. They may look just like one of us – a dear friend, a classmate, or a colleague – but until you’ve heard them properly order a hot dog with sauce, you can never be too sure who’s on your side in The Hot Dog Wars.
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