BETHANY — Senator Joe Manchin addressed the graduation class at Bethany College with a closed-door speech, sayin, “Look, you can be whatever Republicans want you to be.”
Manchin used a bunch of air quotes around words like: Democrat, Republican, Public Servant, Honesty, and Integrity.
He performed big, exaggerated winks, as he told the graduating class, “I have been elected to see to it that the people of West Virginia’s basic human needs are met.” He emphasized certain words and phrases to communicate with the crowd that he was a dirty, rotten crook.
“Morality is subjective. Is it even possible to make a difference? Probably not. Right. Wrong. All you can do is get ahead, and it doesn’t matter how many fuckin’ heads you gotta step on.” The crowd seemed moved.
“Nobody gave two fucks about me when I was voting with Trump more than any Democrat in the Senate for four straight years. But now that Democrats control the House, Senate, and Presidency… Daddy’s in charge! Two months ago, those dirty Democ—I mean, Republicans tried to slander me! Calling me ‘Diarrhea Joe’ and ’Mashin’ Manchin’ — saying I slicked my slacks. If Kaitlin Bennett — or as liberals say, ’Gun Girl’ — can persevere, so can you!”
Manchin closed with a call to action, “Donate to my campaign, if you want.” Then comically under his breath, “but it doesn’t really fuckin’ matter because I got dark money comin’ out my ass!”
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