Jim Justice Spends Remaining CARES Act Funds on $127mil "Lazy Miner" NFT

Governor Jim Justice claims that there are “mucho bucks” to be made in Crypto art pieces. He announced at a briefing on Monday that he would use the remaining $127 million of CARES Act funds to enter the space of insufferable Twitter clowns and Elon Musk Reply Guys. Justice told Ramp reporters, "I don't really understand what it does, but it's a real hoot."

The “Lazy Miner” NFTs (non-fungible tokens) are a collection of digital art pieces that feature a cartoon coal miner in various outfits and states of emotion. Gov. Justice claims his favorite one is of the coal miner donning a N95 over his eyes.

“I’m a good sport about the whole mask on the face thang. I just do things differently.” Gov. Justice said. Shortly after that, Gov. Justice became uncomfortable in his tie and took it off by loosening it and sliding it all the way down his body and stepping out of it.

The "artist" diarrhea-shitting these monstrosities out is Senator, Eric Tarr.

“The best way to appreciate something is to own it.” Senator Tarr said outside of his 24-Hour Gym/Physical Therapy Center/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell/Sylvan Learning Center/Gambling Hall/Water Treatment Plant/County Seat of Putnam County.

Tarr says his passion for art began when he realized he could monetize it without having to actually pick up a paintbrush or pencil or anything “gay like that.”

"Lazy Miner" NFT (screenshots prohibited)

Our interview with Tarr was cut short after his heat lamp went out and he started molting.

Gov. Jim Justice, holding the remaining three dollars of CARES Act funding, said, "See that? It's mine. Well, I guess it's technically ours. The whole dang, beautiful state of West Virginia owns this cool, little, cartoon guy. They didn't have a Babydog one, or else I woulda been happier than a slug at a slime contest. Now, that'd probably be worth a whole lotta money! But like I said, I have no fuckin' idea what these thangs are."

The uproar against how the CARES Act money was used has not yet made it to social media due to the fact that online progressives are still researching what it means “own something.”