WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW, WV — The Ramp was awarded the most prestigious award in journalism this week from THE Greenbrier East girls’ basketball team coach. It was well-deserved, to say the absolute least, and to be frank—about time. Although we wanted the award presented to us by Greenbrier East boys' basketball coach, we did not have a say in the matter.
Jim Justice seemed nervous and intimidated as he handed us the custom certificate designed especially for us. He praised us for “staring the truth in the damn face”; although he didn’t love the way we depicted him in our bold reporting–mentioning that our articles about his daughter, Babydog, ruined his entire life. Justice said he still “respects The Ramp more than [his] parents.”
The ceremony was fucking lit because it was all about us and how great we were and are and will continue to be. They talked about some of our greatest articles, like the several where Joe Manchin shits in his pants in public on a regular basis and the article that popped off about the cargo ship getting stuck in the middle of a flooded Third Avenue in Huntington.
Big thanks goes out to the promotion we received by the failed, racist comedian who runs those West Virginia Facebook pages and has an unhealthy obsession with Robert C. Byrd.
We would like to extend our humble gratitude to you, the fans. Without your warm bodies reading, loving, ranting, and raving about our phenomenal reporting, then I guess we’d just look like a bunch of fuck boys.
And more importantly than our loyal fans, we would like to thank Thrax THC, because without their high quality Delta-8 cartridges, none of this would have been possible. They have recently revamped their mouthpieces so now their cartridges hit smoother than ever and there is no more clogging.
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