W.Va — West Virginia lawmakers and coal mining CEOs have teamed up to create some of the most progressive legislation in West Virginia history — announcing a jobs plan that will put thousands of West Virginia women back into the workforce. Infertile women will be sent into the coal mines to detect harmful toxins in the air.
Senator Eric Tarr told Ramp reporters, “This is great news for our beloved coal miners and will potentially save the lives of precious canaries. These women serve no purpose in the continuance of the White Race. Heil Hitler!”
Gov. Jim Justice explained that the program will forcibly place women who are unable to bear children into the coal mines where they will be instructed to “sniff around real good” and “let a big strong man know if you get lightheaded”.
Democrats have been praised throughout the agreement by how good they’ve gotten at thumb-twiddling and tweeting. Delegate Shawn Fluharty posted an impassioned video in a tweet, which was pretty cool. Delegate Kayla Young also put her money where her mouth is and sent out a tweet.
The sterile women are being sent into the mines immediately. The rest of the women capable of childbearing will be assigned a number and a god-fearing male for copulation.
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