HUNTINGTON — “My words, actions, and overall shittiness have caused my children to have a difficult time when it comes to making friends.” Delegate John Mandt Jr. allegedly told Ramp reporters. “That’s what these liberal schools will do to kids these days. So in honor of Pride Month, I have decided to become totally estranged from my ungrateful, socialist children,” Mandt said, seemingly joyful to release this burden of responsibility.
During election season, there was an uproar when private messaging screenshots were released that dipicted the notorious homophobic hot-dog slinging delegate unsurprisingly using homophobic slurs. Mandt quickly resigned but then un-resigned after allegedly realizing that he could just say that the screenshots were fabricated — a perfect plan. Mandt may or may not have told our reporters, “also, it didn’t even fucking matter because the type of people who vote for me are the type of people who love this type of shit.”
In these screenshots, Mandt “allegedly” cuts ties with his “daughter”, whose friends were rightfully bullying her because her dad is a total piece of shit. Mandt presumably told our reporters that he has decided to cut ties with his remaining five children in an act of solidarity with “brave, racist, and bigoted old whites on Facebook who voted for [him].”
Before allegedly asking us if we wanted to have sex with his wife or if we wanted to watch while he had sex with his wife, Mandt said, “the gays get their month, the blacks get theirs, so why the hell can’t I have a month that celebrates the utter disgust that my peoples hold toward anyone and everyone who isn’t straight and white.”
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