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Couches Burn as WVU Student Beats Roommate in NBA 2K15

MORGANTOWN — Police and fire departments responded to a 911 call on Friday evening when a WVU student set fire to several couches after kicking the shit out of his roommate in NBA 2K15 on PlayStation 3.



Jacob Harris allegedly cheesed the hell out of his roommate, Michael Farmer. “Are you fucking kidding me with that shit? Jamal Crawford is absolutely busted,” Farmer reportedly told Harris, as Crawford drained another contested fadeaway three-pointer. “This game is so stupid.”


The Clippers defeated the Bulls 118-75 and it really wasn’t even close at any point in the game. Although Harris and Farmer typically have pretty competitive games, this shit was an absolute blowout. Embarrassed and stupid-looking, Farmer went to bed mad.


“[Farmer] was whining like a little bitch,” said Harris, laughing his ass off, as he casually drenched a porch couch with lighter fluid. “Hey, can you help me with this?” Harris allegedly had some cool neighbors help him drag the couch into the yard.


By the time first responders arrived at the scene, there were over a dozen couches burning. Eye witnesses told Ramp reporters that Harris, rocking some sick shades and smoking a fat blunt, was reportedly “just chilling.” A member of the local fire department said, “2K or Rocket League?”

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