HUNTINGTON – A cargo ship carrying 15,600 containers of hot dogs and vape cartridges has become wedged in front of Marshall University’s Cam Henderson Center and is halting traffic in downtown Huntington.
The ship’s captain told Ramp reporters, “Weeeeeeeeee!! This shit’s crazy, ain’t it?”
Desperate for attention, men with small penises and large trucks arrived on the scene and attempted to tow that big sumbitch, but the maximum capacity cloud factory couldn’t be budged.
It is estimated that the fiasco is preventing some 4,000 college students from screaming, “NATTY CHAMPS!!” and hindering even more fans from pontificating about whether or not Marshall could have beaten WVU in football that one year.
President Gilbert told Ramp reporters, “Based on the information we’ve received, our soccer team is safe and healthy and we will continue to be a #soccerschool despite not currently having anywhere to kick the ball.”
Comentarios