CHARLESTON — Senator Joe Manchin was seen scampering at the Capitol today, followed by the sounds and smells of squished smash.
“I believe he diarrhead his britches,” Representative Alex Mooney said, choking back what onlookers told Ramp Reporters to be a massive vom-bomb.
Smelly Moore Crapito told us “I thought he was doing a bit, Joe is always cracking our shit up in the legislature but then it smelled like straight-up defecate.”
At press time, the head of the Capitol’s janitorial staff mentioned that what he originally thought were lumps of coal, turned out to be turd droppings from Manchin’s slacks.
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