CHARLESTON — “Do you know who my fucking father is?! You’ll all be fired if you do this to me!” Babydog Justice shouted as officers were booking her for Public Intoxication and Disorderly Conduct on Friday night. Babydog was seen stumbling down Kanawha Boulevard and police responded to a call saying “there’s a big, little, brown watermelon taking a shit on the sidewalk.”
Babydog’s recent claim to fame has taken the Mountain State by storm. She has become a household name and rumor has it, it’s gone straight to her adorable head. There have been a few celebrities to come out of West Virginia (Brad Paisley, Jennifer Garner, Steve Harvey) but none quite like Babydog. Babydog is, for lack of better words, the fucking shit. She’s little, she’s big, she’s beautiful. We all love her so much.
This instant celebritism has been causing issues within the Justice household since the onset of the “Do It For Babydog” campaign. Ramp reporters recently broke the story that Babydog won a totally jacked Ford F-150, of which many people were skeptical. But then she crashed on I-77 [https://www.therampnews.com/post/babydog-justice-causes-28-car-pile-up-on-i-77-after-winning-vaccination-lottery] and then caused quite a commotion as she was being taken by police.
Eyewitness, Keith Trainor, told ramp reporters, “dude, at first I was laughing, honestly. When she came up to me and started licking me, I was just like ‘woooah, I don’t even know you ma’am,’ and I just pushed her away, but she kept doing it and I had to go back into the bar. My girlfriend was inside and saw the whole thing. She was piiiiiissed.”
Babydog was yelling obscenities at officers and drooling all over the fucking place, she screamed, “Fuck the Po-lice!” on several occasions. Babydog almost received a charge of evading police but officers were able to get her into the vehicle fairly easily with a small piece of bacon, leftover from a Tudor’s Biscuit sandwich.
Several fans of Babydog spoke with our reporters; one saying, “she loves to party. It’s so sick. She’s always, like, wasted and having a good time. She shits all over the place — whenever, wherever.” While another super fan said, “she’s so comfortable in her own fur. Yeah, sure, her dad’s the Governor, but it doesn’t stop her from being herself. She’s like the Miley Cyrus of her species.”