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Sep 2, 20211 min read
Ramp Reporters Eagerly Await Next Natural Disaster
After riding an absolute life-altering 48 hour high, Ramp reporters are impatiently anticipating the next natural disaster to strike The...
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Sep 1, 20211 min read
In-Person Classes Resume at Marshall Despite COVID-19 and Biblical Floods
HUNTINGTON – Marshall University decided to resume in-person classes on Monday evening despite skyrocketing cases of COVID-19 and an...
224 views0 comments
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Aug 31, 20211 min read
Cargo Ship Blocks 3rd Avenue, Huntington
HUNTINGTON – A cargo ship carrying 15,600 containers of hot dogs and vape cartridges has become wedged in front of Marshall University’s...
26,412 views0 comments
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Aug 28, 20211 min read
Rough N' Rowdy 15 Matchups Announced
This weekend is the 15th Rough N' Rowdy brawl at Charleston Coliseum and Convention Center in Charleston, WV. "The world's wildest...
547 views0 comments
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Aug 25, 20212 min read
OPINION: Battle of Blair Mountain Could Have Been Prevented by Pizza Party
By: Scab Picket Today marks the 100th anniversary of the beginning of The Battle of Blair Mountain. As the state reflects on the battle...
230 views0 comments
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Aug 24, 20211 min read
Sen. Joe Manchin Embarrassingly Shits Himself Yet Again, Everyone Laughs
CHARLESTON — In what was considered one of the most shamefully embarrassing scenes witnessed within the Capitol walls, Senator Joe...
197 views0 comments
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Aug 21, 20211 min read
Coal Miner Writes Beautiful Rendition of Beatles Classic, Blacklung
MULLENS – A West Virginia man, Arlan Thompson, wrote a new version of the Beatles classic, Blackbird, about the easy, wheezy, beautiful...
44 views0 comments
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Aug 20, 20211 min read
Jim Justice Comes Out as Bicoachable: Little Girls AND Little Boys
LEWISBURG — Children’s Basketball Coach and hobbyist Governor, Jim Justice, came out last week as “bicoachable”. A new word that we’ve...
48 views0 comments
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Aug 18, 20211 min read
Babydog Justice gets Face-lift and Liposuction
CHARLESTON — Babydog Justice went under the knife three weeks ago and has resurfaced as one sexy ass boss bitch. She is looking very...
156 views0 comments
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Aug 17, 20211 min read
No, Wrong Mystery Hole
ANSTED — WOAH! This isn’t an underground series of rooms where the walls and floors are built at angles to give the impression that there...
83 views0 comments
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Aug 14, 20213 min read
25 Rejected West Virginia State Fair Booths
1. Cousin Kissing Booth C’mon, man. Really? These bullshit Appalachian stereotypes haven’t been topical comedy fodder for years. 2....
414 views0 comments
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Aug 13, 20211 min read
Plans to open new Dollar General in Michael Brumage’s Asshole
WASHINGTON D.C. — After a regular checkup with his proctologist, it was confirmed that Michael Brumage has a nasty case of irreversible...
57 views0 comments

Aug 11, 20211 min read
Mylan Park Renamed "Unemployment Park"
MORGANTOWN — Mylan Park has been a popular sports and recreation venue in Morgantown for the last two decades, but as a result of the...
49 views0 comments
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Aug 10, 20211 min read
West Virginia Nickname Changed to "The Mountain Lightning State"
CHARLESTON — Long revered as “basically the same thing as Mountain Dew, just cheaper,” The Wal-Mart Great Value Brand soda, Mountain...
107 views0 comments
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Aug 9, 20212 min read
Camden Park Includes Meaningfully Written Obituaries with Cost of Admission
HUNTINGTON— How would you want to be remembered after plummeting to your death from a roller coaster last inspected in the 1970s? Well,...
224 views0 comments
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Aug 8, 20212 min read
Delta-8 Variant Hot Spots Detected at Local Speedways
HUNTINGTON — A sudden uptick in Delta-8 found next to the cash registers at Speedway gas stations has raised some concerns among...
94 views0 comments
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Aug 5, 20211 min read
DaBaby Dropped from ChiliFest, Pro-Life Organizations in Uproar
DaBaby is in hotter water than Chad O’Toole’s signature Ghost Pepper Anus Napalm Chili. The famous rapper was dropped from the list of...
372 views0 comments
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
Aug 4, 20211 min read
Morgantown Pothole Gains National Park Status
Another massive win for West Virginia conservation; a large Morgantown pothole has been added to the list of National Parks in the U.S.....
94 views0 comments
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Aug 3, 20212 min read
Manchin’s COVID Coitus Cruise: Masks Worn, Social Distancing Discouraged
WASHINGTON D.C. — Senator Joe Manchin had a bipartisan sex romp on his houseboat on Saturday to commemorate not doing shit for people who...
122 views0 comments
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Aug 1, 20211 min read
To Prevent Looking Gay, John Mandt Jr. Serves Bologna Sandwiches at WV Hot Dog Festival
HUNTINGTON — Owner of Stewart’s Original Hot Dogs and well-known homophobic delegate, John Mandt Jr., reportedly realized that he “looked...
4,313 views0 comments
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