John Denver’s “Country Roads” Closed for Construction
RAVENSWOOD — West Virginia’s state song, John Denver’s “Country Roads”, will be undergoing construction later this month. Officials are...
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Mar 4, 20223 min read
Gov. Jim Justice Funds Russian Army
CHARLESTON – Governor Jim Justice, who currently still owes several million dollars in fines for damaging quaint streams in West Virginia...
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Feb 28, 20221 min read
Jim Justice Discovers Babydog’s Delta-8 Stash
LEWISBURG — Governor Jim Justice was enraged to find Babydog’s Delta-8 stash in her bikini drawer on Thursday. He was invading her...
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Feb 15, 20221 min read
W.Va. GOP Celebrates Black History Month by Firing Teachers Who Mention It
CHARLESTON — In honor of Black History Month, Mike Azinger (AKA Diet Derrick Evans) introduced an incredibly backwards and racist...
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Feb 14, 20221 min read
Tudor’s Heart-Shaped Biscuits Undergo Quadruple Bypass Surgery
ELKVIEW — Just weeks after voting “no” to forming a union, tragedy struck at a Tudor’s location in Elkview. Tudor’s Valentine’s Day...
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Feb 10, 20221 min read
Homelessness Ravages Charleston, Nevertheless Kayla Young Tweeted
CHARLESTON — A $2.1 million American Rescue Plan application was rescinded yesterday after a bunch of white people decided homeless...
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Feb 7, 20222 min read
Spotify Quietly Removes 113 Chapters from WV History Curriculum
CHARLESTON — Proponents of the “Anti-Stereotyping” Bill are outraged that Spotify quietly removed 113 entries of West Virginia history...
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Feb 3, 20221 min read
West Virginia Upgrades Science Books to New King James Version
CHARLESTON — The West Virginia Department of Education Finance Office approved funding for schools to upgrade their outdated King James...
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Feb 1, 20222 min read
Tim Irr Asks Erica Bivens if She Was Hit Down Low or Up High
HUNTINGTON — Tim Irr, the WSAZ anchor who is actively doing damage to our state every single day by choosing not to run for political...
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Jan 28, 20221 min read
Governor Justice Proves West Virginians Are Smart by Showing Everyone His Dog’s Genitalia
CHARLESTON — Governor Jim Justice ended his annual speech to the West Virginia Legislature by exposing his daughter’s b-hole and vajayjay...
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Jan 26, 20222 min read
WV Lawmakers Start GoFundMe Page for Black Lung Benefits
CHARLESTON — Representative Carol Miller’s office referred to the act of taxing coal companies responsible for slowly murdering their...
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Jan 24, 20222 min read
Study Reveals Carhartt Jackets Emit 5G Radio Waves
ALL AROUND YOU — A recent study performed by The University of Austin revealed that popular durable workwear company, Carhartt, was doing...
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Jan 20, 20222 min read
WCHS's Kennie Bass Behind The Wheel of Live Hit and Run Against WSAZ Reporter
DUNBAR -- Famed and beloved WCHS veteran Kennie Bass is the alleged driver of the vehicle that clipped a WSAZ reporter last night....
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Jan 14, 20221 min read
Ms. Frizzle’s Magic School Bus Unavailable to Rid Justice’s Body of COVID Due to Teacher Cuts
CHARLESTON — Ms. Valerie Frizzle, Ph. D., was unable to take her class into a human body riddled with the Omicron variant or COVID-19...
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Jan 13, 20221 min read
Gov. Jim Justice Tests Positive for COVID-19, Learns “Positive” Means Bad
LEWISBURG — Billionaire coal mogul with blood on his hands and high school girls basketball coach, Governor Jim Justice, received a...
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Jan 8, 20221 min read
Shelley Moore Capito Screams “Stop the Steal” After Being Cheated Out of Toughman Ring Girl Contest
HUNTINGTON — Senator Shelley Moore Capito entered and very horribly lost the Ring Girl Competition at this year’s Toughman. Judges told...
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Jan 7, 20221 min read
Special Metals Rebrands as "So-So Metals" After Losing Skilled Workers
HUNTINGTON — Special Metals workers have been on strike for over three months, and in light of losing 450 skilled workers, the company...
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Dec 27, 20211 min read
New WV Toll Policy Effective Jan. 1, 2022, Must Show Proof of Vaccination
W. Va. — Tolls are set to increase to $4.25 on the first day of 2022, which is not surprising. However, West Virginia Parkways...
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Dec 25, 20211 min read
WV Child Delivers Heated Call to Arms Against Intruders on Christmas Eve
NORTH POLE — South Charleston Toddler, Maddie Franklin, was featured on Tucker Carlson Tonight on Christmas Eve. Franklin, who is...
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Dec 23, 20212 min read
“What Do You Want for Christmas and Everythang” Asks Oddly Familiar Mall Santa
CHARLESTON — As COVID-19 cases are once again on the rise and this holiday season threatens to be even deadlier than the last, and with...
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