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Mar 18, 20221 min read
PawPaw’s Knee Actin’ Up Again, Lookin’ Like Rain
WAYNE — Put on your raincoats and drive cautiously, PawPaw just told us his knee is actin’ up again, and you know what that means. It’s...
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Mar 15, 20222 min read
Vat of Critical Race Theory Leaks Into Kanawha River
CHARLESTON — The citizens of Charleston and surrounding areas are suddenly woke AF after a large batch of Critical Race Theory was...
518 views0 comments
Mar 10, 20221 min read
John Denver’s “Country Roads” Closed for Construction
RAVENSWOOD — West Virginia’s state song, John Denver’s “Country Roads”, will be undergoing construction later this month. Officials are...
540 views0 comments
Mar 4, 20223 min read
Gov. Jim Justice Funds Russian Army
CHARLESTON – Governor Jim Justice, who currently still owes several million dollars in fines for damaging quaint streams in West Virginia...
138 views0 comments
Feb 28, 20221 min read
Jim Justice Discovers Babydog’s Delta-8 Stash
LEWISBURG — Governor Jim Justice was enraged to find Babydog’s Delta-8 stash in her bikini drawer on Thursday. He was invading her...
263 views0 comments
Feb 15, 20221 min read
W.Va. GOP Celebrates Black History Month by Firing Teachers Who Mention It
CHARLESTON — In honor of Black History Month, Mike Azinger (AKA Diet Derrick Evans) introduced an incredibly backwards and racist...
183 views0 comments
Feb 14, 20221 min read
Tudor’s Heart-Shaped Biscuits Undergo Quadruple Bypass Surgery
ELKVIEW — Just weeks after voting “no” to forming a union, tragedy struck at a Tudor’s location in Elkview. Tudor’s Valentine’s Day...
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Feb 10, 20221 min read
Homelessness Ravages Charleston, Nevertheless Kayla Young Tweeted
CHARLESTON — A $2.1 million American Rescue Plan application was rescinded yesterday after a bunch of white people decided homeless...
1,270 views0 comments
Feb 7, 20222 min read
Spotify Quietly Removes 113 Chapters from WV History Curriculum
CHARLESTON — Proponents of the “Anti-Stereotyping” Bill are outraged that Spotify quietly removed 113 entries of West Virginia history...
99 views0 comments
Feb 3, 20221 min read
West Virginia Upgrades Science Books to New King James Version
CHARLESTON — The West Virginia Department of Education Finance Office approved funding for schools to upgrade their outdated King James...
305 views0 comments
Feb 1, 20222 min read
Tim Irr Asks Erica Bivens if She Was Hit Down Low or Up High
HUNTINGTON — Tim Irr, the WSAZ anchor who is actively doing damage to our state every single day by choosing not to run for political...
177 views0 comments
Jan 28, 20221 min read
Governor Justice Proves West Virginians Are Smart by Showing Everyone His Dog’s Genitalia
CHARLESTON — Governor Jim Justice ended his annual speech to the West Virginia Legislature by exposing his daughter’s b-hole and vajayjay...
697 views0 comments
Jan 26, 20222 min read
WV Lawmakers Start GoFundMe Page for Black Lung Benefits
CHARLESTON — Representative Carol Miller’s office referred to the act of taxing coal companies responsible for slowly murdering their...
63 views0 comments
Jan 24, 20222 min read
Study Reveals Carhartt Jackets Emit 5G Radio Waves
ALL AROUND YOU — A recent study performed by The University of Austin revealed that popular durable workwear company, Carhartt, was doing...
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Jan 20, 20222 min read
WCHS's Kennie Bass Behind The Wheel of Live Hit and Run Against WSAZ Reporter
DUNBAR -- Famed and beloved WCHS veteran Kennie Bass is the alleged driver of the vehicle that clipped a WSAZ reporter last night....
11,195 views0 comments
Jan 14, 20221 min read
Ms. Frizzle’s Magic School Bus Unavailable to Rid Justice’s Body of COVID Due to Teacher Cuts
CHARLESTON — Ms. Valerie Frizzle, Ph. D., was unable to take her class into a human body riddled with the Omicron variant or COVID-19...
281 views0 comments
Jan 13, 20221 min read
Gov. Jim Justice Tests Positive for COVID-19, Learns “Positive” Means Bad
LEWISBURG — Billionaire coal mogul with blood on his hands and high school girls basketball coach, Governor Jim Justice, received a...
118 views0 comments
Jan 8, 20221 min read
Shelley Moore Capito Screams “Stop the Steal” After Being Cheated Out of Toughman Ring Girl Contest
HUNTINGTON — Senator Shelley Moore Capito entered and very horribly lost the Ring Girl Competition at this year’s Toughman. Judges told...
150 views0 comments
Jan 7, 20221 min read
Special Metals Rebrands as "So-So Metals" After Losing Skilled Workers
HUNTINGTON — Special Metals workers have been on strike for over three months, and in light of losing 450 skilled workers, the company...
78 views0 comments
Dec 27, 20211 min read
New WV Toll Policy Effective Jan. 1, 2022, Must Show Proof of Vaccination
W. Va. — Tolls are set to increase to $4.25 on the first day of 2022, which is not surprising. However, West Virginia Parkways...
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