Radio Station WQBE Becomes LGBTWQBE for Pride Month
CHARLESTON — “Honestly, we never really knew what LGBTQ stood for. With what we’re doing now, I guess you could say country music has...
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Feb 28, 20221 min read
Jim Justice Discovers Babydog’s Delta-8 Stash
LEWISBURG — Governor Jim Justice was enraged to find Babydog’s Delta-8 stash in her bikini drawer on Thursday. He was invading her...
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Feb 14, 20221 min read
Tudor’s Heart-Shaped Biscuits Undergo Quadruple Bypass Surgery
ELKVIEW — Just weeks after voting “no” to forming a union, tragedy struck at a Tudor’s location in Elkview. Tudor’s Valentine’s Day...
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Feb 3, 20221 min read
West Virginia Upgrades Science Books to New King James Version
CHARLESTON — The West Virginia Department of Education Finance Office approved funding for schools to upgrade their outdated King James...
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Dec 11, 20212 min read
West Virginia Teacher Asks Santa for a Raise
CHARLESTON — Protesting and striking didn’t quite yield the results desired for this young lady. Poor pay and benefits for doing the most...
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Dec 2, 20212 min read
Local Man’s Spotify Wrapped Just 'Whitehouse Road'
WEST BY GOD — Despite being from Kentucky, Tyler Childers is basically ours. From his humble beginnings at Black Sheep Burritos and Brews...
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Nov 24, 20212 min read
Top 10 Thanksgiving Dishes Improved by Grandma’s Secret Ingredient: Salt
We all know the holidays can be stressful, especially when you’re cookin’ a meal for everyone and their momma! Well, The Ramp is going to...
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Nov 20, 20211 min read
Babydog Justice Seen with New Boy Toy, Pete Davidson
NEW YORK, NY— Alleged “bad girl” and feminist icon, Babydog Justice, was seen over the weekend with her new boy toy, Pete Davidson, and...
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Sep 25, 20212 min read
BASE Jumpers Back Out of Bridge Day Event, Bridge Tournament to Be Held Instead
FAYETTE COUNTY — Bridge Day suffered a teeny tiny little set back this week after the literal only fucking reason anyone would go to the...
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Sep 11, 20211 min read
Suddenlink Subscriber Finds Out About 9/11 After Web Page Finally Fucking Loads
WIRT COUNTY — Local Suddenlink subscriber mourns the nation’s 2001 tragedy this week after the webpage finally fucking loads. West...
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Aug 25, 20212 min read
OPINION: Battle of Blair Mountain Could Have Been Prevented by Pizza Party
By: Scab Picket Today marks the 100th anniversary of the beginning of The Battle of Blair Mountain. As the state reflects on the battle...
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Aug 18, 20211 min read
Babydog Justice gets Face-lift and Liposuction
CHARLESTON — Babydog Justice went under the knife three weeks ago and has resurfaced as one sexy ass boss bitch. She is looking very...
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Aug 17, 20211 min read
No, Wrong Mystery Hole
ANSTED — WOAH! This isn’t an underground series of rooms where the walls and floors are built at angles to give the impression that there...
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Aug 14, 20213 min read
25 Rejected West Virginia State Fair Booths
1. Cousin Kissing Booth C’mon, man. Really? These bullshit Appalachian stereotypes haven’t been topical comedy fodder for years. 2....
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Aug 4, 20211 min read
Morgantown Pothole Gains National Park Status
Another massive win for West Virginia conservation; a large Morgantown pothole has been added to the list of National Parks in the U.S.....
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Aug 1, 20211 min read
To Prevent Looking Gay, John Mandt Jr. Serves Bologna Sandwiches at WV Hot Dog Festival
HUNTINGTON — Owner of Stewart’s Original Hot Dogs and well-known homophobic delegate, John Mandt Jr., reportedly realized that he “looked...
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Jul 31, 20211 min read
Robert C. Named State Bird
CHARLESTON – Legislation in West Virginia introduces a new state bird, the Robert C. The Robert C. is indigenous to the hills of...
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Jul 24, 20211 min read
Paula Jean Swearengin Cookbook ON SALE NOW
COAL CITY — Paula Jean Swearengin is rebranding as simply “Paula Jean” after some of her down-home, poor people recipes took off on...
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Jul 20, 20211 min read
“Nothing to do here” Says Resident of State with World-Renowned Outdoor Recreation
BECKLEY — “I’m so bored.” Christopher Hubbard told Ramp reporters. “Like, I usually would be snowboarding up at Winterplace right now,...
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Jul 14, 20211 min read
HEROIC: Woman Lifts Car Off of Save-A-Lot Coupons
WHEELING — Local hero, Marissa Williams, is being celebrated this week after lifting a full-ass car off of her Save-A-Lot Coupons. Ramp...
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